reciprocity is key

in biology, we were taught various relationships that occur in the animal kingdom which very much apply to humans. there's the predator-prey (the one-night stand), parasite-host (the sugar daddy) and symbiosis (pure bliss). we all aim to achieve the third kind but as humans, we tend to complicate things. thanks to our peptides, we now have EMOTIONS in the way. love to be specific. it makes us feel and do crazy things. we subject ourselves to be objects of lust in order to feel loved. we allow ourselves to be sugar daddies/mommies thinking that the only way to make our lovers stay is to smother them with gifts and undying attention.

in order to achieve symbiosis, reciprocity is key. reciprocity denotes ACTIVE mutual involvement. involvement out of sincerity and not of necessity. most relationships die down because the conscious effort to be involved wears off (the thinking that you pretty got used to being with that person that nothing seems extraordinary anymore). in reality, it's not the situation that has changed, it's your involvement. you choose to detach yourself from being involved, probably because you are not in love after all, or you realize you are not yet ready to subject yourself to that kind of serious commitment. failed reciprocity also comes from incompatibility, whether physical, emotional and even sexual. another contributing factor is diversity of love language between the couple. a "tactile" lover might not appreciate praises from a "vocal" lover.

reciprocating love is something that is willingly done and should not be seen as an obligation. symbiosis is a give-and-take arrangement. as stated in my earlier post:

"don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life. relationships work best when they are balanced."

first cut is the deepest...

nakigaya lang ako sa blog ni candy pangilinan about the many firsts in her life so that made me ponder on my own firsts. ililista ko lang and make small kwento about each item.

first song - hindi ko alam kung gaano katotoo pero kinakanta ko raw nun yung bituing walang ningning nung bata pa ako. o di ba, bata pa lang, jologs na?

first friend - i was in kindergarten at seatmate ko si archie gunay. sobrang likot at kulit na bata so nahawa ako for a brief moment. pinaghiwalay kami ng teacher ko dahil medyo bad influence daw sa akin. mas na enjoy ko siguro yung buhay estudyante kung hindi kami pinaghiwalay noon.

first movie - supergirl at sm cubao. pumasok kami sa sinehan in the middle of the movie so full house na. nung natapos yung movie, natural people would leave the theatres. ang batang shunga sumama sa madla thinking na aalis na kami. buti na lang naabutan ako ng tatay ko kung hindi, nasa studio na ako ni inday badiday na nananawagan.

first communion - i was one of those who were chosen to "perform" the Lord's Prayer. interpretative ekek na puno lang ng mechanical movements like raising your arms, left and right, swaying your torso left and right. first time ko rin magsuot ng white long sleeves with black bow tie - ala waiter ng hotel set in the 1980's.

first honor - nung grade 5 ako. natatandaan kong iyak nang iyak yung dating first honor kasi magagalit daw sa kanya yung nanay nya. that moment was sweet kasi that girl was a total biatch. although hindi na naulit yung moment na yun.

first piano recital - i did two solo pieces and one with my sister. we played "tales from the vienna woods." nakapilipit yung legs ko dun sa paanan nung upuan sa sobrang kabado ko. again, hindi na naulit yun.

first gadget - it was a motorola memo jazz na clear blue. sobrang hip pa yung pagers when i was a sophomore in college. ako lang din halos yung may mobile phone nung mga panahong yon, an ericsson model na papasa nang dumbell sa bigat nung battery.

first heartache - third year college. i was so affected that the mere sight of couples would automatically bring me to tears. took me a month to recover.

first job - accenture. excruciating yung first interview because the interviewer kept interrupting me whenever i explain. didn't expect that i would be chosen so i quickly said yes when they presented me an offer.

first paycheck - bought a copy of harry potter and the sorcerer's stone. hindi ko na maalala kung saan ko pa nagasta yung unang sweldo ko.

first travel abroad - accenture days ulit. was able to go to illinois, san francisco and new york.

first solo travel - i was assigned to participate in a conference in hongkong. nakaka windang dahil ang hirap tanungan ng mga cantonese for directions. napilitang intindihin ang mapa at mag explore on my own.

first time kong malasing - na post ko na dati yun dito. fun yung experience pero horrible yung feeling.

those are just some of the firsts that i could quickly think of and share at the moment. tulad ni candy, marami pa rin akong gustong maranasan for the first time. one thing's for sure, lahat ng first time ay memorable. pinapalago nya ang experience mo as a person, making you grow and evolve.

ikaw, naalala mo pa ba ang first time mo?

pagod sa pagudpud

i went to pagudpud last saturday and stayed there until yesterday. the travel is a bit exhausting but it was worth it when i got there. for those planning to go there, i suggest you take the land transportation instead because there's no morning schedule for air travel. since the land travel is 12 hours in duration, allot 2 days in your vacation for travel.

we stayed at polaris resort in saud beach in pagudpud. steve and me-ann santos are the operators of the place. they were really kind enough to pick us up at the city because there were not land transportation available to take us from laoag airport to pagudpud. during the entire travel, me-ann was able to plan our pagupud tour effortlessly.

since we have a limited time, we didn't waste any more time and started the tour at 7 in the morning. our tour guide cum tricycle driver, vincent, was very patient and accommodating to show us around and give us bits of interesting information about the sites. he even willingly took our pictures.

our first stop was the kabigan falls. entrance was 10 pesos per person plus a stardard tour fee of 100 pesos. it was a 10-15 minute hike to the falls, which was pretty tolerable for someone like me who doesn't really enjoy trekking. seeing the falls took away my exhaustion from the hike and the quick dip surely woke me up.

next stop was the patapat viaduct, which, according to www.waypoints.ph, "is an elevated concrete highway constructed along winding/rocky headlands near the northernmost roadway section in ilocos norte (could be considered second northernmost roadway section in luzon) this viaduct was constructed to solve the problem of landslides in the area which have caused so many vehicular accidents in the past." it's very interesting to note that the view along the viaduct is actually the south china sea!

we then headed to aqua paradiso (entrance fee was 25 pesos), the place where fresh water from the falls and salt water from the ocean meet. the place is suitable for families and group of friends because you can stay there and cook food (the place has grills available in the cottages). a few minutes away was the place they call "paraiso ni anton" where you can actually drink fresh and natural spring water. i didn't see anton though (hekhekhek).

then, vincent took us to bantay Abot cave and took quick snapshots of the cave and its surroundings. a few minutes later, we were welcomed by the breathtaking blue waters of the famous "blue kagoon" or the maira-ira beach. this is very much comparable to bohol and boracay in terms of sand quality and the water clarity. we took a very long walk by the beach so I got pretty burned there (well mostly, my nose took the most blow from the sun's rays).

we took a quick bite at the local market in pagudpud so that we can still see the cape bojeador lighthouse. too bad, the place was not maintained but still, its rustic look made it a sight to behold. last stop was the bangui windmills, which is like nothing I've seen before. fifteen (if I counted them right) humongous windmills along the beach made me feel like I'm in a totally different place.

last stop was the local market to buy the ingredients we need for dinner and breakfast the following day. the resort owners were kind enough to cook our food at no extra cost. and even kind enough to accompany us in getting a ride back to laoag the following day.

admittedly, the travel to pagudpud drained the bejeezuz out of me, but it sure brought a lot of nice memories and great shots in my camera.