Nilaga

I was having some discussion with my good friend CD yesterday about dating and relationships. She said that she was already tired of going out and meeting guys for fun. I shared the same sentiment. Then she mentioned that she is already looking for a relationship that's like "nilaga." Of course I was very intrigued on what she meant so I asked her to elaborate. Here's what she said:

"Nilaga is simple and plain, but it is good for you. It's boring but it makes you feel at home. I want that kind of relationship. You go home from work and you talk about your day with your partner. He will listen to your stories and you enthusiastically listen to his. You sleep on the same bed together at night. On Sundays you buy grocery together."

It was so beautiful. Had I been a straight guy, I would have already made "nilaga" with CD. Unfortunately that wasn't the case.

I have considered myself old-fashioned when it comes to dating and relationships, to a point where friends label me a "Disney Princess." My many attempts to be old-fashioned freaked out guys I dated and those stories have been a constant punchline when I hang out with my friends. I am a bit embarrassed, yes but not because I am old-fashioned, but because I couldn't substantiate that old-fashioned can work.

In this day and age of Facebook and Grindr, it is very easy to meet guys with just a click. However, these do not guarantee longevity of relationships. Having presented lots of options can make a guy easily switch to the next once he finds a flaw or he finds the next hotter guy on the list. Then there's the complication of dynamics. There are those partnered couples who play together, partnered couples who secretly play behind each other's backs, guys into NSA fun only, guys who want a relationship ASAP, which can sometimes spell trouble. I have involved myself in some of those guys but could not find myself in that kind of setup on a long-term basis. This is when my old-school thinking works for my disadvantage.

Yes, I am old-fashioned. When I am committed to someone, I remain faithful and loyal. I do not like the idea of liking or loving someone else other than my partner. I value fidelity. I like the idea of being able to talk freely and honestly to my significant other. I enjoy listening more than speaking but sometimes a good partner also makes me enjoy speaking and sharing my thoughts and opinions. I like laughing. I am drawn to someone who can laugh with me (not just at me) and can also manage to laugh at himself.

I am old fashioned that I enjoy the cliche. I do enjoy taking long walks, doing chores together, going to church together and traveling together. Those simple things for me give a lot of opportunity to get to know the person and determine your compatibility.

I am old-fashioned such that simple gestures of affection really get to me. Sweet gestures make an ordinary day seem like Christmas. And these simple gestures create memories that are worth cherishing.

I am old-fashioned in terms of keeping promises and apologies. Do not make promises you cannot keep. Do not say sorry for the sake of saying sorry. Talk is cheap. It is in the doing where one's word create more weight and value.

Yes, call me old-fashioned. If being old-fashioned will help me get that elusive "Nilaga" then I wouldn't mind being one at all.