with the recent event in my life, people have been telling me that i should let it all out to make me feel better. i believed otherwise. that by keeping it inside, showing no remorse, anger nor regret, i'd convince myself that it would make me appear strong.
but my defenses went down yesterday. literally and figuratively. i contracted stomach flu so i went home after lunch and rested. i think the flu went too far and messed up with my emotional defenses and started crying at the slightest provocation of afternoon local tv dramas. i was struggling to keep the tears from falling (and to keep my wailing from waking up my housemates) but failed miserably. i then realized that by crying, it only meant that i already accepted my sad fate and that i need to move on. yes it's unfortunate that such thing happened to me (again), but i guess it's all part of the whole package. dealing with love has always been a gamble. if you're not brave enough to play, then stay away from the game.
i know love involves a lot of risks, but so does life in general. why be too afraid to risk when you have everything to gain in experience?
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