in the meantime

wow. second entry. i felt obligated to write something a little more positive given that my comeback entry was kind of depressing. i know that at this moment the possibility of loving again is quite a far fetched idea for me, so i just preoccupy myself with some things that i think might help me (or possibly other people when you go through what i've been through) heal properly and gracefully.

1. yoga - this is where i found complete solace. meditation and yoga helped me find focus and taught me how to accept my flaws and limitations and to let go. it also taught me to appreciate the simple things in life such as the very breath that i take each day. i made some friends in the yoga practice as well.

2. work out - all the pent up anger and frustration has to go and there's no better place like the gym.

3. run - i actually hate running but i got into the habit of joining fun runs for the mere torture. but running 10k actually trains me mentally - that if i can endure running for an hour, then maybe i can take on the more difficult challenges in my life.

4. sing - i love videoke. even though i am not vocally talented, i find joy in singing with friends. and when someone is emotional, that is when singing becomes really heartfelt (e.g. try singing cueshe's ulan).

5. laugh - i try not to read or watch anything really sad or serious lately because i easily get affected, so i watch a lot of comedy programs such as little britain and cougar town. sometimes i just lose myself laughing out loud and it feels good.

6. pray - a lot. i feel like every moment of my day i talk to God, asking for guidance, for patience, for clarity. i pray for some sort of intervention so that i will be able to move on and i really believe that He listens to my prayers.

it was said that you won't be able to see and appreciate the beautiful things in your life without experiencing some rough patches. my experience was truly an eye opener for me that despite the loss that i have experienced, there is so much to gain. happiness is still possible if you let it happen.